Searching for Answers...part 1

Conversation with samyu day before yesterday while putting her to sleep

Amma, i have a question.

Ok, sollu

Amma, what will be there before this world was formed? Before god is born ?

God is always there kanna. He s not born to anyone.hes just there.

No ma. Before you &  me. Before human beings. Even god could not have been there. What was there then ? What did exist ? ( Appo yedhu irundhudhu ? Yenna dhaan irundhudhu?  )

God is always there. There is never a time when he s not there. It is he who creates this world. He s the nature. He manifests himself everywhere.
Tried to explain to her the peacock anology . But obviously, felt it was too much for her. So left it.

No ma. You don't understand.  You see, before all this, before this house, see indha veedu illa, indha place illa, yedhuvum illa. So god yeppidi yenga irupparu ? How's it possible at all ?

Tried explaining about vaikundam but left it after a short while.

Seri samyu. Give me some time. I will think about how best to explain to you in a way that you  will understand.

Ok ma.
___________________________________

After a while, i have another question ma.

Hmmm

Namba thathha, thaathaa ku thaathaa, avaalukku thaathaa , indha maari poinde irukkum la...

Yeees

Appo , andha first man, avaala yaaru padachaa?

Brahma da kannama.

Ok, appo, ippo innoru family irukku la, vera yaaraana family...avaaloda thaathaa ku thaathaa ku thaathaa, andha line la first vandhavaa?

Avaalum brahma dhaan da Samyu

Oh !!! Appo oru family ku orthar maadhiri illa ma ? Brahma niraiya per padachaaa, families vara

Yes da ma

Appo, naama dhaan ninaikirom , namba small family nu. But actually, we are all a part of very very big family illa ma ??

Too surprised to respond for some time...then I said slowly as the new insight that my daughter just now taught me seeped into me " yes kanna. You are absolutely right da kanna ".

Jillu as a sibling...

Jillu is now an elder sis. To her little sister. The younger one was born in December and she has completed 3 months now.
Jillu is a proud sis, doing all that she promised. She is also slightly more possessive, clingy and J which is only natural. She is a sometimes a very mature 4 year old. Suddenly becomes a baby, sometimes a troublesome toddler. Sometimes, a lovely bonding elder sis.
Jillu, we all understand this is new for you as well. You have  got to share everything you thought as yours only -Mom., Dad, thaathaa , paati. And you are doing your best. Just as we are trying our best to manage both of you at the same time. Its new for me as well, your mood swings and your evolving personality.

I want you to know we are all proud of you and love you just as we did before. We love the way you talk to your sis. We love the way you help Amma by bringing nappies for her. We love the way you bring in the dry baby clothes from the clothes hanger. Kutti is only looking at you these days and we love the way you say "she will only look at me and no one else". You are so crazy about watching her bathing every day that we have had a big struggle during your school days all this while. Thank God your school holidays have started and now you can watch daily :). You are so impatient for her to grow up and you keep asking "when will she grow up? when will she play with me?". "When will she become taller?" Now that she has started to smile, baby talk, roll from back to front, you are getting the hang of it and kind of understand the baby milestones. But still, you are a kid and you are impatient for her to grow up and interact with you.

You also have questions like "Why did God make me be born before her?"
"Why not she first and me later ?"
which make me dumbfounded for a split second. You also keep saying that "You will teach her every trick in the book and that you both will trouble us to the core :) "
You go gaagaa and it gives you enormous fun when we say "ahaa! rendu perum sendhu yenna maa paduthureenga ". And initially, you also told us that you made the younger one be born just so that you could both trouble us. Though going by the above question couple of days back, seems like you have given the due credit to God, which is indeed right :). Now, I have 2 wonderful daughters :)

And to top it all, the little one looks exactly like Jillu did when she was a baby (at least to me) and you absolutely love it when I say "She is exactly like you and does everything just like you did".

To me, these months have been a complete recap of Jillu's early months, only with a miniature replica sitting right beside me. I completely love it and the new responsibility of handling 2 kids. It is like walking on a tight rope with extreme care which needs delicate balance. Admittedly, the tilt for attention is more towards Jillu right now, as the younger one is only a baby now. But as time goes on, the angle should keep changing till that balance is reached.

But that is for me and my problem, whereas this post is for you, Jillu.
Jillu, we all LOVE you very much and this post is especially for you to read when you grow up!

And as Jillu is

about to complete 4 years, she is now eagerly waiting for the new arrival in the family.

Jillu is about to become a big Sis very soon.. May be in a month or so !

Needless to say, she is excited and has 1001 questions! Already a proud sis !

Her repeated statements
"I was born first right ? So I am the elder sis "
" Paapaaku akkaava dhaan romba pidikum" ( The baby will love the sis the most !)
" I shall take care of the baby once I am back from school"

and thus the list goes on..

Kaakaa Nari Kadhai

Adaptation....

Jillu : Paati, Paati, Nee romba azhagaa irukkiye! Mahabharatham lerundhu oru kadhai sollen !

(Grandma, you are looking so beautiful ! Pls tell me a story from Mahabharatham na )

And its Official !

Yes ! Its Plugged OFF these days :)

For those of you who do not know whats a plug, its simply thumb sucking :). To know more about it, read this post.

Atlast, Jillu has stopped the habit and I have been waiting to make sure before blogging and making it official :).
Its been a month now since she sucked her thumb. So I guess its pretty safe to say that she has indeed left the habit. We have also got her a couple of gifts (games) to mark the occasion :)

The whole thing started prior to the Pooja holidays. I was planning to apply the bitter nail polish on her thumb during the holidays so that her timings is not affected (she just cannot sleep without it). So from 15 days before the holidays, I kept telling her that "one fine day, when you wake up, your thumb will taste bitter and 20 days from that day, your thumb will go into your stomach and you will lose your thumb".GROSSSS ! I know. But I had to do something ! I knew just applying  would take me nowhere! She laughed it away and went on her way till the holidays. But I kept issuing the warning every day.

And then, 2 days into the holidays, I applied the nail polish on her thumb early in the morning when she was sleeping. I was just relying on the surprise and the secret factor. And it worked ! MY GOD ! Poor thing ! She was confused and also a bit scared when she realized that what Amma said was true and whatever Amma said was indeed happening ! And then the frequency of plug started to reduce day by day as she found her thumb bitter whenever she woke up from sleep. But as days went by, and when Jillu found that the thumb was indeed in tact  and showed no signs of vanishing into the stomach, the fear factor went away and I started to lose the ground I had gained.

And then luck favored me ! I should not say luck really, because Poor Jillu suffered ! But its indeed a blessing in disguise. She had severe mouth ulcers and could not eat anything, let alone, put plug. And thats when the habit really stopped. In the week that she was suffering from mouth ulcer, she did not put the plug even once. And all of us used it to our advantage and told her "See, the boils came because of plug. The moment you start again, its going to come back". Poor Jillu had suffered so much (only curd rice every meal, no variety, no talking which I think she found the most difficult :), and so on) that she didn't want to risk again.

And now its been a month and she has been clean till now. And I hope this continues and is for ever.

But, her drifting off into sleep has taken a major blow and I am finding it very difficult to put her to sleep. Earlier, she would put the plug and would be off to sleep soon. But now, without that, she is struggling to get into a proper position, wriggles this way and that way and takes for ever to sleep even when she is sleepy.

Hopefully this is also just a phase and shall pass soon !

HOPE ! HOPE ! HOPE!